she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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