My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
