Umm I'm too high to move.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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