Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
