What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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