We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize