Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
too bad you live with your parents still
I wish you could order shots online.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
