I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
