the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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