but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
