But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
