Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
