Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
