this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
