i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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