your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
