my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the gays at disneyland are vicious
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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