Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
