4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
