spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize