Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
