I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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