It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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