wanna go halves on a baby?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
