She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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