am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
