I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
