We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
