U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
