So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
