You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
