speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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