I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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