google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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