I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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