The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
