Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
