the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
