Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
