My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
