think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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