Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wear drunk well.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
