My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
