Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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