I feel like abortions should bother me more
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
