We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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