maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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