everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this hospital has no fireball
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize