my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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