You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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