Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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