omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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