Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
