i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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