can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
