her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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