Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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