My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize