The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
