my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
