oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
