Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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