Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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