I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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