So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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