i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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