Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
