Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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