thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
