just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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