i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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