We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
